The Why

Hi, my name is Shihyun Kim and I am a senior in high school.

I began the journey of Plated With Love after going through two major slumps in my life, both rooted in my relationship with food. One taught me the importance of healthy eating; the other taught me the importance of eating intentionally. The first one was in middle school. I was placed into an accelerated program that I didn't believe I was ready for. I also felt lonely after undergoing some classic teen drama with the "love of my life" and my "best friend". You get the idea. I was stressed, anxious, insecure, and heartbroken.

To deal with these overwhelming emotions, I ate them. Ice cream for family dessert? You bet I had a little more than everyone else and justify it with the fact that I was the oldest child. Bag of candy in the pantry? It would be gone by the end of the week. How it disappeared will always be a mystery. Cake being served at an event? I would take an extra slice for "my mother at home".

Everything has a consequence though, and this bad habit bit me back hard. I couldn't look at myself at the mirror. I felt insanely insecure whenever I went out in public. My face was heavily decorated with ready shiny bumps, as if a kindergartner had decided to stamp my face with a red stamp labeled look at me I'm breaking out! My energy bank was always on low battery, I had no motivation to do anything. Walking around felt like chains around my legs dragging me down. It didn't help that I was felt guilty and ashamed yet kept reaching for that cake pleasantly sitting on the counter. I would eat it while I watched my motivational glow up videos where the mantra was "don't eat sugars".

It all changed when there was a "trend" in my church. A year without sugar for a $500 reward gifted by the parent at the end. I said I did it for the money, but on the inside I desperately wanted to escape the loop of being addicted to sugar. At first, it was really hard. But over time, my energy bank was restored. I felt happier, more motivated. My skin had cleared up a lot and my performance in running improved significantly. When I moved I felt like I was flying. Through my first slump I learned the importance of healthy eating.

My second slump was during my junior year. I had just moved into the state of California with ambitious goals for my track season. My whole life had taught and rewarded me for the principle that crazy amounts of hard work could get me anywhere I wanted to go. I applied this principle to track. At first, it worked. Until it didn't.

Bang! Went the gun as I launched myself forward on the track. My mind racing through the exact steps I needed to do to get a PR in the 800. Pushed pace the first 200, ease in the next 200, quicken pace the next 200, full out sprint the last 200. That was all I needed to do. I quickened my stride as I made my way into the first lane. So far so good. I had made sure that I supplied my body with carbohydrates and protein up to that point. That I had gotten myself the hours I needed which was now prioritized over my studying. Anything for that PR. The first 250m felt great. And then I tanked. My whole body became tense, my legs became heavier as if someone had just strapped weights onto them. I watched as the other runners passed me as I fell behind. I screamed to myself to move my legs at a faster pace, to pump my arms more. But no matter how many times I screamed mind over body I just couldn't go faster. When I finally crossed the finish line I was too scared to look at my finish line. When I finally did, I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. The trend of slower race times had continued, I was now even slower than when I was a freshman.

You are iron deficient. After recurring failures, I got my hemoglobin tested only to find out that I still wasn't eating properly. I learned that iron deficiency is a frequent nutritional problem in woman and that it was one of the most common struggles among woman cross country runners. Why am I learning this now? I felt like this could have been prevented. When we had guest speakers for cross country and they had always fervently preached about our protein, electrolyte, water, and carbohydrate intake but never once had they mentioned iron.

Despite my slight internal indignation, I dutifully took my iron supplements.

The last race of the season. My last chance. I had done everything I was supposed to do up to that point, including the iron supplements. When the gun fired, I was ready. When I neared the finish line, I looked at the clock with hopeful eyes and then with a smile. A PR for the season I had finally broken the curse.

My painful track season had taught me the importance of intentional eating.

Through two of my lowest moments in life, I reached new heights I once never thought possible—and that journey inspired me to create Plated With Love. I hope you will join me in this journey to help others rise above their struggles.